Unlocking Inner Freedom: Create Your Meaning

Posted on by

<!Unlocking Inner Freedom: Meaning, Leadership, and the Hero’s Journey in Uncertain Times

We are living in uncertain times—economically, geopolitically, environmentally, and socially. Many leaders, professionals, and seekers feel disoriented, exhausted, or quietly questioning what still matters.

This is not a personal failure.
It is the call to the journey.

Joseph Campbell taught that every Hero’s Journey begins when the old way of living no longer works. Disruption becomes the invitation. As he wrote:

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

In coaching and leadership development, this moment often shows up as burnout, loss of direction, or a sense that success without meaning is no longer enough. The real work begins not with fixing the world, but by turning inward.

You are more than your role, your productivity, or your circumstances. You are body, mind, and spirit—and your spirit is your essence. When the external world feels unstable, inner freedom becomes the most reliable form of leadership.

Viktor Frankl, who survived unimaginable suffering, reminded us:

“Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

This is where personal development becomes transformational. You may not control market forces, global conflict, or cultural division—but you can choose meaning. And meaning changes how you lead, decide, and relate.

On the Hero’s Journey, meaning is not found in comfort but in engagement:

Creating something—work, art, ideas, or service—restores purpose.

Developing relationships builds resilience and perspective.

Focusing beyond yourself shifts you from rumination to contribution.

Finding purpose in pain transforms adversity into wisdom.

Great leaders and coaches know this truth: growth requires accepting reality as it is, not as we wish it to be. Life is not fair. There is no universal scoreboard. Yet even here, meaning remains available.

When we accept the worst, fear loosens its grip. When we align our actions with our values, integrity returns. When we reconnect with purpose, wholeness follows.

The Hero does not return with certainty—but with clarity.

In a divided and uncertain world, choosing meaning is a quiet act of courage. Leading from inner freedom becomes a form of service. And the journey, as Campbell reminds us, was never about escaping the world—but returning to it more awake.

Dreams as a Source of Inner Guidance

Posted on by

Dreams as a Source of Inner Guidance

Peter Metzner MA, MPA, PCC, BCC

What if you had access to a source of information that offered guidance—and even commentary—on whether you are on the right track, professionally or personally? Would you be interested?

I invite you to suspend skepticism for just a moment and consider the possibility that within your dreams lies a hidden, untapped source of self-knowledge. As Robert Johnson observed, “Dreams simply tell us what we need to know but don’t in our waking lives.”

Unconscious emotions, motivations, and beliefs often drive the very behaviors that can sabotage the outcomes we desire most. Dreams help bring to awareness what we are otherwise unaware of. They illuminate areas of our lives that need attention and reveal where healing or adaptation is required. In this way, dreams offer both commentary and direction—much like the reins of a horse, gently correcting us when we veer off course.

Several years ago, I had a vivid dream in which I was imprisoned in a desert, surrounded by a brick wall and a chain-link fence, guarded by a somewhat arrogant, surly middle-aged man. Beyond the barrier lay lush countryside and rolling hills. At the time, I didn’t recognize its meaning. Only later did I understand the dream as a powerful metaphor for how I was imprisoning myself—keeping myself from the vibrant life I longed to inhabit.

Unfortunately, within our rational Western mindset, dreams are often discounted or dismissed altogether. What we do not readily understand, we tend to fear or ignore. As a result, few people choose to explore this inner world we visit every night.

Yet dreams have played a significant role throughout history. They appear in every major religion and have even inspired scientific discoveries and inventions.

The Talmud states, “A dream that has not been interpreted is like a letter unopened.”

Chemist Friedrich Kekulé discovered the molecular structure of benzene after dreaming of a snake biting its own tail. He later urged his colleagues, “Learn to dream!”

Albert Einstein recalled that as an adolescent, he dreamed of riding a sled down a hill faster and faster, approaching the speed of light. He later remarked that much of his scientific career could be viewed as an extended meditation on that dream.

Dreams speak through metaphor and symbol. They help us reframe problems, view situations from new perspectives, and expand our inquiry. While dream language is universal in form, its meaning is deeply personal—each of us must learn our own symbolic vocabulary.

After studying more than 65,000 dreams, Jungian analyst Marie-Louise von Franz concluded that we dream of exactly what we need in each particular life situation. She believed dreams offer a unique advantage over other forms of self-knowledge: they provide a dynamic, ongoing self-diagnosis that can correct distorted attitudes or reactions in the moment.

Robert Johnson similarly maintained that we never dream of anything that is not useful or necessary. Carl Jung believed that “in sleep, we awaken to who we are.” Dreams, he said, provide maps of the psyche. By rejecting or repressing aspects of our unconscious selves, we risk projecting them onto others—a phenomenon Jung referred to as the shadow.

It is not necessary to be an expert to work meaningfully with dreams. Simply paying attention can help us recognize and take ownership of the less attractive aspects of ourselves, reducing the likelihood that we project them outward. (More on this in future blogs.) Dreams can also help uncover our gifts, talents, and latent abilities. As awareness grows, we become architects of richer, more intentional lives—more connected to others, our communities, and the larger society.

So how can we use dreams in practical, meaningful ways?

Be open to them. Paying attention to dreams is like welcoming a friend. Once welcomed, this inner companion often becomes clearer, more detailed, and more frequent. Keep a dream journal by your bed. Sudden movements or beginning your morning routine can cause dreams to fade quickly.

Write in the present tense. Date and title each dream. Over time, look for recurring themes. Imagine yourself as each character in the dream. Ask: Why are they behaving this way? Why did this dream come to me now? What is it asking of me? What part of myself is being revealed? What emotions did I experience?

Consider each dream symbol as potentially representing an aspect of yourself. Your personal associations—with people, places, and objects—often offer the most meaningful insights.

Remember that dreams have multiple layers of meaning. Each dream reflects aspects of our inner life. Could a car or house represent the body? Might the dream point to creative or spiritual potential? Is it revealing dimensions of yourself you have not yet recognized?

Join or start a dream circle. In my experience, group dream work—when conducted in a safe, trusting environment—can lead to powerful and even transformative insights. Shared associations often reveal layers of meaning that might otherwise remain hidden.

In these uncertain times, we are in great need of visionary leadership and a deeper recognition of our shared humanity. Dreams can alert us to the larger picture—to what truly matters. As many of us face difficult changes and complex decisions in a fragile world and uncertain economy, we must learn to use our whole minds and whole selves. Sources of wisdom long neglected are waiting to be reclaimed.

We all dream. We all possess intuition. Our unconscious is constantly transmitting signals—symbols, sensations, and images meant to guide us. Beneath the surface lie deep reservoirs of insight, creativity, and wisdom, waiting to be tapped.

If we remain open to all of our experiences—both waking and sleeping—our creative impulses are awakened. Rigid beliefs soften, closed attitudes open, and new possibilities emerge. The impact on our lives, our decisions, and those around us can be profound.

About the Author

Peter Metzner, MA, MPA, PCC, BCC
Peter incorporates dream work into his highly acclaimed life and leadership coaching and training programs. He has taught psychology at Vance–Granville Community College and Peace College in Raleigh, NC, and currently serves as an instructor in Leadership for UNC’s Graduate School and the Institute for Life Coach Training. Peter has studied dream work through the Journey Through Wholeness, the Triangle Jung Society, and with teachers including Robert Johnson, Barry Williams, Jeremy Taylor, and John Ryan Haule. He has presented workshops and keynote addresses on dreams and leadership for organizations such as the Center for Creative Leadership, the National Wellness Organization, and the North Carolina Association of Business Coaches. Prior to founding Dynamic Change, Inc., Peter worked at the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro, NC.

Link | Posted on by

Forgiveness, Freedom, and Courage in Turbulent Times

“Every failure to cope with a life situation must be laid, in the end, to a restriction of consciousness. Wars and temper tantrums are the makeshift of ignorance; regrets are illuminations come too late.”
— Joseph Campbell, Reflections on the Art of Living

Shakespeare once wrote that there is no prison more confining than the one we do not know we are in. In today’s world—marked by economic instability, political upheaval, environmental crisis, and social division—many of us feel trapped. Holding onto grudges, perceived wrongs, resentment, and anger can compound this sense of imprisonment, affecting our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

And yet, there is a path to freedom—a path that begins not by controlling the world, but by reclaiming ourselves.

The Brain, Habits, and the Prison of Resentment

Our brains are wired for efficiency. They don’t want to expend extra energy building a new bridge every time we encounter difficulty. Repeated behaviors—complaining, judgment, resentment—create neural pathways that make future repetition easier. Neuroscientists summarize this: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

Over time, negativity becomes the default. We perceive the world through a lens of grievance, often unaware that our inner state shapes the outer one. As psychologist Eric Berne noted: We act in ways that elicit behaviors from others that justify how we already feel.

Repeated stress, anger, and resentment do more than shape perception—they impact biology. Chronic stress shrinks the hippocampus, essential for learning, memory, and problem-solving, making it harder to navigate life’s challenges effectively. Stress hormones like cortisol shift our bodies into fight-or-flight mode, undermining immunity, raising blood pressure, impairing digestion, and increasing vulnerability to disease.
— Travis Bradberry, PhD; Robert Sapolsky, PhD

In short: clinging to resentment and anger is self-inflicted suffering—a prison we carry internally that limits our capacity to act wisely in the world.

Forgiveness as a Foundation for Courage

Forgiveness is often misunderstood as passivity. In reality, it is the opposite. Forgiveness clears the inner space necessary to respond to life with clarity, strength, and courage. It frees us from the emotional and physiological chains that diminish our capacity to stand for justice and act with integrity.

“You are not here to cry about the miseries of the human condition, but to change them—when you find them not to your liking—through the joy, strength, and vitality that is within you.”
— Unknown

Forgiveness is a spiritual practice. It reconnects us to our deeper selves, our intuition, and what many call Spirit, God, or Source. It is the recognition that freedom is cultivated within before it can be expressed outside. By letting go of bitterness, we strengthen our capacity to confront injustice, advocate for the vulnerable, and take courageous action in the world.

From Victimhood to Empowered Action

To forgive does not mean excusing harm—it means reclaiming agency. Start with honest reflection:

  • What am I holding onto, and how does it serve or limit me?

  • Is being “right” more important than being free?

  • How long have I allowed resentment or victimhood to control my energy and choices?

  • Where might I have contributed, however subtly, to this situation?

Owning your part restores clarity and prepares you for courageous engagement. Small acts of forgiveness lighten the heart and make space for strength, creativity, and wise action.

The Spiritual and Practical Payoff

When we forgive, the benefits are holistic:

  • Mental & Emotional: Reduced stress, clearer thinking, increased resilience.

  • Physical: Lower cortisol levels, stronger immunity, better overall health.

  • Spiritual: Reconnection to compassion, purpose, and inner guidance.

From this place of inner freedom, we are no longer reactive. We are able to stand up to injustice, speak truth, and act with integrity, even amid turbulence. Courageous action is grounded in clarity, not anger; in vision, not reactivity.

Reflective Coaching Questions for Turbulent Times

Use these to guide your reflection, journaling, or coaching conversations:

  1. Where am I holding resentment or anger that clouds my judgment or limits my action?

  2. How might forgiveness strengthen my ability to respond courageously to injustice?

  3. What patterns of negativity or blame am I ready to release in order to act more clearly?

  4. Which injustices in the world move me to stand up, and how can I respond from a place of clarity rather than reactivity?

  5. What small, courageous steps can I take today to promote healing, equity, or positive change in my community?

  6. How can I cultivate inner resilience and spiritual connection to sustain my efforts in turbulent times?

Forgiveness is not surrender. It is preparation. It is the clearing of the inner landscape so we may act with wisdom, courage, and compassion. It is the first step on a path that leads from personal freedom to meaningful impact in the world.

When will you be ready to release the burdens of the past—and step fully into the courage that today demands?

Recommended viewing:
Robert Sapolsky’s National Geographic documentary, “The Portrait of a Killer: Stress.”

Where Synchronicity & Magic Happen by Peter Metzner

Posted on by

Where Synchronicity & Magic Happen 

By Peter Metzner

I once heard at a Symposium that:  “Genius is focused passion” .

To grow, to develop and become the best at your “art”  is a meaningful calling.  Joseph Campbell writes:  “Art is the making of things well.  The aim of Art is the perfection of the object”. “If you follow your bliss, you will always have your bliss money or not. If you follow money you may lose it and you will have nothing”  (J. Campbell Reflections on the Art of Living” p. 39)

Ideally, to successfully innovate; we need to feel passionate about and love what we do. We also need to feel our work – our “art” is beneficial to others.    That is the rocket fuel that can propel us to new heights.

What keeps teams or people from performing optimally?

Sadly only 30 percent of employees in America feel engaged at work, according to a 2013 report by Gallup.  For many work is a depleting, dispiriting experience, and in may ways, it’s getting worse.  Demand for our time is increasingly exceeding our capacity — draining us of the energy we need to bring our skill and talent fully to life. “Increased competitiveness and a leaner, post-recession work force add to the pressures. The rise of digital technology is perhaps the biggest influence, exposing us to an unprecedented flood of information and requests that we feel compelled to read and respond to at all hours of the day and night”.  (http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/01/opinion/sunday/why-you-hate-work.)

To maintain engagement it is important to have enough rest and renewal. Over work, stress and a lack of capacity leads to burnout.  Interpersonal conflict, unaware leadership and not feeling valued or appreciated add to the malaise that causes disengagement, lack of commitment and turnover.

When people and teams feel connected to a shared vision and mission that is inspiring and larger than themselves,  positive energy and appropriate actions result.    When relationships are trusting and safe enough to give and receive feedback and engage in constructive conflict;  everyone becomes “smarter” than anyone one.  Kurt Lewin –  PhD,  a Harvard psychologist found that “When we are  in a supportive environment we are better equipped to deal with the complexities of our working lives”

As times change, technology advances, new applications and opportunities will emerge. Yet, we need to always keep the timeless qualities that make us “successful” and feel fulfilled. Excitement, energy,  common purpose and dedication  come from feeling, that we are doing what we do best and are challenged to better in the service of “something” larger and beneficial to others.

“When completely caught up in something, you become oblivious to the things around you, or to the passage of time.  It is this absorption in what you are doing that frees your unconscious and releases your creative imaginations”.   Rollo May, The Courage to Create

This is the place where synchronicity and “magic”  happens.

 

 

 

 

 

“The Privilege of a Life Time” by Peter Metzner

Posted on by

The privilege of a lifetime is being
who you are.
The goal of the hero trip
down to your jewel point
is to find those levels in the psyche
That open, open, open,
and finally open to the mystery
of your self
being Buddha consciousness,
the Christ.

That’s the journey
(Joseph Campbell) Reflections on the Art of Living – A Joseph Campbell Companion

“Find a place where there is joy and the joy will burn out the pain” .

According to Campbell, Satan is the epitome of the intractable ego. That part of ourselves needing to be right, to defend ourselves, feeling separate, better than or not as good as others depending on our beliefs, dogma and life’s situations. Hell is the concretization of your life experiences, a place where you’re stuck, the wasteland. In hell, we blame others for our condition and are so bound to ourselves that grace cannot enter. What is hellish is being stuck without hope, without relief.*

How we mature, depends on taking responsibility for our choices, no longer blaming others, or expecting rescue from them. And to acknowledge the pain of loneliness however much we are invested in social roles and relationships. (James Hollis) Swamplands of The Soul. The mature person i.e. one who is psychologically free : “is confident in his inner world, responsible for his strengths and weaknesses, consciously able to love himself, and thus, able to love others”…. Marion Woodman

In a simple and poignant description of the human condition, and of growth; Jolande Jacobi, a Jungian analyst writes: “Like a seed growing into a tree, life unfolds stage by stage. Triumphant ascent, collapse, crises, failures, and new beginnings strew the way. It is the path trodden by the great majority of people, as a rule unreflectingly, unconsciously, unsuspectingly, following its labyrinthine windings from birth to death in hope and longing. It is hedged about with struggle and suffering, joy and sorrow, guilt and error, and nowhere is there security from catastrophe. For as soon as a man tries to escape every risk and prefers to experience life only in his head, in the form of ideas and fantasies, as soon as he surrenders to opinions of ‘how it ought to be’ and, in order not to make a false step, imitates others when possible, he forfeits the chance of his own independent development. Only if he treads the path bravely and flings himself into life, fearing no struggle and no exertion and fighting shy of no experience, will he mature his personality more fully than the man who is ever trying to keep to the safe side of the road.”
J. Jacobe, The Way of Individuation

There are two gremlins we face every morning.

Fear: I am too tiny it is too hard… I can’t do it.

Lethargy: – chill out tomorrow is another day…

Each will eat us alive… Fear and lethargy are the enemy they are not out there they are inside
Carl Jung wrote: The spirit of evil is the negation of live force by fear… only boldness can overcome that fear.
If the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated”

Our task is to recover our personal authority and discern the meaning of our lives.
Who are we to stand in its way?

Navigating my Middle Passage: From the Pursuit of Money to Meaning By Peter Metzner

Posted on by

  When I was in my 30s I had a well paid sales and sales training position.  I worked hard and made good money. In fact, most of my waking efforts were devoted to increasing my sales and commissions and supporting a life style that was keeping pace with my earnings. 

During this phase in my life, I dreamed I was imprisoned in a desert surrounded by a brick wall and chain link fence, guarded by a somewhat arrogant and surly middle-aged man.  On the other side of the wall was beautiful lush country and hills.  I later realized, this dream was a metaphor for how I had trapped myself, felt confined and unable to be in a place I wanted to be.   This insight inspired me to make major shifts in my personal and professional life.

Sigmund Freud was asked in a lecture “What is needed for a successful life?” Surprisingly, he answered in only two words: “Lieben und Arbeiten.” To give and receive love — and to do work that is right for you.  What was the right work for me?  The lush countryside in my dream offered a tantalizing clue.

With therapy, extensive reading, numerous workshops and being coached, I found that by not living my values, or my purpose, and not doing what I was passionate about was a major part of this malaise.  I was living other’s expectations of what I should be.  This is a good definition of Neurosis – having to be someone you are not.  Psychologist James Hollis says “the task of midlife is to find out who you really are and to claim your life.”

 I asked myself, what is a life that is worthy of me and reflective of who I am, what I am naturally good at, passionate about and where there is a real need in our society?  For me the answers that came were realizing that  teaching, coaching, training and helping others grow and be successful energized me.  As I looked back at the major themes of my life – the light bulb went off:  almost everything I had instinctively done was that of teaching, training coaching and speaking!

I realized that happiness and fulfillment for me  required connecting to my passion, utilizing and developing my natural strengths in the service of a need that made me feel my work was meaningful.  Once I got this, the map and next steps were clear.  This is how I made the shift from focusing on external rewards to what was intrinsically rewarding.  It hasn’t always been easy financially. There have been tests, trial and tribulations.  I do  believe that when I  aligned with what is right for me: doors opened,  opportunities arose and people I needed to meet  came to me and me to them in often unexpected ways.   The price of not shifting to vocation would have been too costly to my health, emotional well-being and happiness.

Stepping Into Your Vision by Peter Metzner

Posted on by

“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens.  I’ve knocked from the inside.” — Rumi

All of our trouble flows from being separated from our instincts.  C.G. Jung

Freud stated that “The price of civilization is neurosis”.   Neurosis meaning being someone you are not,  being split from your natural truth and being defined by an external definition of who you are.   Living a life that is authentically yours;  means being connected to your passion,  using and developing your gifts and natural abilities  in ways that are meaningful, useful and satisfying.   This is what vocational  integration is.    To get to this place requires some reflection and being  ‘real”  with your self.    Asking the larger and important questions can greatly help this process.

Below are powerful questions from James Hollis, PhD   that can help ease access to deeper insights.   Asking the “right”  questions;  stimulates our thinking  to seek to find answers.   We need   to ask and  be open and receptive to the messages we get.  Having solitude and quiet  allows us to hear and discern the answers that come.     Each may take some time so you may want to choose the one or ones that  resonate the most with you at this time.   

The Questions:

  • How do you know what is true for you?   How did you lose your personal authority in the first place?   Did you lose it through adapting  to circumstances?
  • What core ideas – are the defining ideas of my life?
  • What has brought you to this point in your life?  Fate?  Family influences?
  • What parts of history have framed your world?  Are there repeating patterns that make us prisoners of our history?
  • Which pieces or parts of your life are working  for you?
  • What constricts you?
  • What messages did you internalize?  i.e.  We are here to make money;  I have to be perfect,  successful;  have children and make them successful…
  • Why does so much feel like a script that has been written for you?
  • Am I choosing  security over truth?
  • Am I doing  what my peers do?
  • Do I change and grow and how?
  • Why is so much a disappointment?
  • Why do I hide so much from others?
  • What gets pushed underground in my unconscious?
  • Where do I experience the transcendent?

According to Jung, the highest calling is an appointment with our “self”.  We have an appointment with ourselves and not all of us keep it.     We need to mindful and discern where spirit is working in all areas of our lives. If the life we have lived has been too small and it may be too small for most of us;   the task of recovering ourselves is opening to largeness of our journey.

There are two  gremlins we face every morning.

Fear: I am too tiny it is too hard…  I can’t  do it.

 Lethargy:  – chill out tomorrow is another day…

Each will eat us alive… Fear and lethargy are the enemy, they are not out there they are inside.  We awaken only to fall back into the  comfort of our past life.

Jung also wrote:  ” The Spirit of evil is the negation of live force by fear… only boldness can overcome that fear.

If the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated.”

We all have a task and it is;  the recovery of personal authority and discerning the meaning of our lives.  Who are we to stand in its way?  We are responsible for finding meaning in our lives.

We can look at symptoms like depression, anxiety, addictions and compulsions as ruptures in our false self.   James Hollis also writes this is the psyche or our “self” trying to break out of the confines of the acquired or false self.    So welcome a symptom.  The psyche which has been captive may have a different agenda than the one our ego or acquired identity is following.    Symptoms may be the psyche no longer able to cooperate in going along the path we are taking.  Similar to the reins of a horse correcting us when we stray.

Jung believed  that every patient knew at some all level what they needed to do.   We all need to become our own psychotherapists
and heal the bridge and split from our natural truth.   The self knows you have always known.   This is the knowledge of the head in service to the knowledge of the heart which gives insight and the courage to live our lives.

If you knew what you are truly capable of, would you move forward into your life with tremendous enthusiasm and very little self-doubt?
Find  your voice and a place in your life where your brilliance  can shine through.  There is  something we all can do to bring us a sense of satisfaction and meaning.   Find  what you love the most in life.  Search inside for that deep passion or restlessness, and allow  yourself  the quiet and peace to give it full expression.
There is genius in every one of us, as a natural part of our birthright.  Let it come out.  The German Poet Rilke wrote: “Our task is to be defeated by ever larger things” .
References and suggested reading:
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally Really Grow up.  James Hollis PH.D, Gotham books New York, NY 2006
Why Good People Do Bad Things:  Understanding our Darker Selves.  James Hollis PH.D Gotham books New York, NY 2007
Memories Dreams , Reflections.  Carl Gustav Jung  Random House, Inc. 1963
 

 

Overcoming Addictions and Compulsions: “Finding Your Self” by Peter Metzner

Posted on by

If something out side of your self is the reason you are happy;  you are hostage to it.  Ekhard  Tolle

In over 15 years in being in the field of Human Development, I have seen no correlation with having a lot of material things and “happiness”.   Money is important and ranks along  with oxygen to live.   Yet, when there is enough oxygen to breathe  it doesn’t register in our awareness of needs.

Neuroscience has found that money or accumulating money stimulates the pleasure centers of our brains.      If we are happy, have supportive relationships and are living meaningfully and with purpose,  material comforts can  enhance our sense of well-being.   However,  if we are unhappy,  we are  like hungry ghosts.   Searching and driven yet never satisfied.  Riches, material comfort, distractions etc.  can’t make us happy if we are anxious, driven, unhappy or suffering from low self-esteem or lack of meaning.   If materialistic ambition becomes a substitute for our intrinsic needs for giving and receiving love and doing work that is “right” for us, we can become addicted in the pursuit of diversions, pleasure, accumulating “things” , titles, accomplishments, etc.

Neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky, PhD  explains, “dopamine levels increase as soon as we start anticipating a reward. Once the dopamine starts flowing, monkeys and people will work and work and work expecting  a treat.  For monkeys,  a grape is usually enough.   For people, the treats include:  a pair of sneakers, a shiny car, an MBA that might lead to a high-paying job, early retirement, a couple of minutes of entertaining diversion, a few seconds of sexual gratification, etc…    Monkeys and people’s neurochemistry  function virtually the same!    The main difference: “Monkeys don’t get hooked on beliefs, ideologies, dogma, degrees, titles, fantasies, lies, empty promises, or self-deceptions” .

What is known about addictions:

  • Any behavior that can deliver a dopamine reward can become an addiction.
  • The more powerful the addiction, the greater the denial, the weaker the free will, the more likely addicts are to detest any information that threatens to keep them from feeding their addictions.
  • It’s possible to get addicted to safety, peer approval, and esteem.   (The dopamine project)

Using brain scanning equipment, researchers have found that there is basically one addiction—dopamine addiction. When heroin addicts shoot up, the street drug tells their brains to produce dopamine. Heroin is a trigger.  Dopamine flow creates the sensation of being ‘high.’ When it comes to scoring dopamine rewards, there are many triggers. For some the trigger is cocaine. For others it’s nicotine, alcohol, sex, gambling, or food.  Street drugs are physical dopamine triggers that are hard to deny because they need the ingesting, inhaling, or injecting of addictive substances.  Sadly, physical dopamine addictions destroy lives and wreak societal damage.  Researchers have recently added video games and texting to the list. Yet the most dangerous dopamine triggers include easy to deny psychological addictions. Psychological dopamine addictions may be more insidious because addictive emotions, memories, thoughts, fantasies, ideologies, rhetoric, and deceptions also trigger release of  dopamine.

An addiction is anything you can’t stop doing and it serves as an anxiety management system.  Along with addictions come formidable psychological defenses.  They include self-deception, denial, and a lack of morality that can even lead to a capacity for murder.   Reason, integrity, morality and a distaste for lying, cheating, stealing, and killing  that non-addicts value are often no match to addicts of:   power, money, fame, substances etc.   We see  in history and current events “examples of unstoppable, unreasonable, inhumane, addict/killers attacking, vilifying, and eliminating reasoning, humane, non-addict/non-killers” (The Dopamine Project)

Addicts have an amazing capacity to dismiss and deny facts, truth, and reason.   “Dopamine flow fuels addictions: More dopamine = yes, like, do more while dopamine withdrawal = stop, hate, avoid. “Thinking”   justifies, rationalizes, and defends  dopamine-influenced decisions”. (The Dopamine Project)  In other words,  intelligence  in the service of  addiction.

One of the most addictive abstractions is money.  Someone  addicted to alcohol or drugs, increasingly organizes their life  around the use and abuse of their substance(s) of choice.  The person who uses money to mood alter can have their relationship with money spin out of control; by being overly focused on accumulating it, spending it, hoarding it or using it to control people, places and things. For example,  as with a drug or alcohol, tolerance increases and a person  may find him/ herself needing to devote increasingly larger amounts of time to these activities, to get the same mood altering high that only a little once provided.  They become increasingly preoccupied with all things related to getting and maintaining their “substance”  excluding  other areas of living.  Gradually, just like any addict, money and the relationship with money becomes a primary preoccupation.   (Tian Dayton, PhD)    Personal drives and identity become so wrapped up around money  that they lose sight of who “they really are” .

No matter how much they have, money addicts crave more.    As with all addictions, the first pleasure is soon replaced by cravings and withdrawal.  Acquiring more money only increases stress levels which keep money addicts craving more money while worrying about losing what they already have.  Money is highly addictive because it quickly and easily converts into other dopamine triggers that feed other addictions like drugs, foods, sex, gambling, approval, status, and power.  The corrupting influences of money addiction everywhere and at every level of society.

So what does this have to do with Finding your “Self”. 

“Since our capacity for Self deception is truly monumental”  (Yorum Kaufam ) Self Awareness and  Self Mastery entails being aware:  of who we really are, what truly matters, the emotions that drive our behaviors, being able to “regulate or manage them,  knowing our passions, our talents, owning our weaknesses and:   what our “Self”,  Psyche or Soul are asking of us.  This is an awareness of what we truly value and a growing understanding  of our place in the world and connection to the transcendent.  To get there,  we need to recognize the mine fields, the seductions and powerful conditioning  of society that  pulls us to these  baser levels of living, wanting  and consuming.  Freud wrote that “The price of civilization is neurosis” – neuroses defined as  ” being someone who you are not”.

Rather than conform mindlessly or automatically to the expectations of  society,  we can  listen to that small voice. If we are quiet and still enough, summoning the will to live a life that is authentically ours.   “When we allow our light to shine we give permission for others lights to shine” ( Marian Williamson)    The great change agents throughout history, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King, etc.  all answered their summons to raise human consciousness, be in relationship to the transcendent,  live mindfully, ethically and see all of humanity as family.

It is OK  to not fully know our  selves or our true North.   The beginning of wisdom is to realize what you don’t know.  To get there requires openness, receptivity and  mindfulness.    I was forty before shifting into my role of teaching, coaching & training.   By  seeking to stay true to yourself, your values and what energizes you is the compass that helps in finding your way.

The Greek god Aesculapius decreed “that it  is through suffering we come to wisdom” .   Avoidance of suffering can lead to and fuel addictions, compulsions and flights from reality.  (James Hollis) Suffering can also give us empathy, understanding and insights which can help others work through their pain.  Being fully human is to experience the full range of emotions.  Being aware and   experiencing   “all”  emotions enables us to live more fully,  better exercise  free will,  intentionality and grow into the person we are meant  to be.

 “There is hope for the world if enough people do their inner work“. C. G. Jung

References and suggested readings:

The Dopamine Project – Better Living Through Dopamine Awareness : see  http://dopamineproject.org/

Swamplands Of  The Soul – New Life in Dismal Places, James Hollis inner City Books  1996

What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should do the Opposite.  David Disalvo Prometheus Books  2011.

The Portrait of Addiction by Peter Metzner

Posted on by

How do addictions and compulsions happen?

According to David Disalvo in his book What Makes Your Brain Happy and why You Should do the Opposite;   “Our brains are equipped with a reward center that serves to adaptively motivate behaviors that benefit us. Without this drive to seek out pleasurable experience we would be very dreary.

This center is  called the mesolimbic reward center. It is like an unprotected power grid that  can be high jacked from external forces.  These forces make use of the same reward circuitry.  The problem is that the new rewards  are usually  not beneficial.  Our brains suffer a type of reward distinction blindness and new imprints are integrated into the grid.  (Koob et al. Neuro circuitry of Addiction)

The common denominator of in all compulsive behaviors is a mal functioning reward center. Whether it is drug abuse, addiction to the internet, video games, gambling, sex, or over eating the same underlying dynamic facilitates compulsive continuation and intensification of the behavior.  (Disalvo)

Research on rats found that stimulation of the reward centers of their  brains made them become compulsive.  Rats trained to press a bar that activated electrodes  in the pleasure center of the brain would not stop pressing the bar – forgoing sleep, eating, drinking or having sex as long as the bar was available.  Many starved to death – they never gave up the bar. This explains why meth addicts forgo food, sleep and sex to get more of the substance their brain craves.   The more the reward is sought the more the craving and the compulsive behavior is reinforced.

Dopamine is often called the reward neurotransmitter.  It  is essential to our survival but  a potent enemy within when our brains reward circuitry is overwhelmed with the wrong types of rewards.  When it comes to technology, Dr. Gary Small, in his book, ibrain, found that someone with compulsive tendencies and (there are estimates of 50 million people in this country) is predisposed to a range of addictive behaviors and technology has a way of accelerating the process.

Carl Jung pointed out to the founders of AA “that the craving for alcohol is the equivalent, on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness – an implicit attempt to connect with a higher power”.

Alcohol or any mood altering drug offers a brief promise of this connectedness and then yanks it away. One must continue in order to anesthetize this new pain and so it goes. (James Hollis, Swamplands  of  the Soul)  “Whatever structure we have erected to bolster our shaky sense of self, our addictive patterns are defenses against anxiety whether we know it or not.”  (Hollis p. 90) All addictions and compulsions are anxiety management techniques.  As the anxiety mounts, we indulge in repetitive patterns that allow us to connect briefly before the angst and emptiness return.  This is a good description of what a living hell is like.   As Hollis writes “what cannot be born consciously  will be projected onto a person, a substance, a behavior … Compulsions narrow life down until there is no living – existence perhaps but no living. “

So in addition to overcoming the physical addiction and highjacking of our reward center, which is very difficult, Hollis also states; “the guilt and shame linked to our short comings erodes the strength needed to confront the unthinkable.”   To go down in the anxiety state to feel what we really feel is to go through and break the tyranny of the timeless emotions that haunt us” .

Suggested readings and references

Swamplands of the Soul – New Life in Dismal Places.  James Hollis 1996 Inner City Books

Under Saturn’s Shadow – The Wounding and Healing of Men James Hollis 1994 Inner City Books

What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should do the Opposite.  David Disalvo Prometheus Books  2011.

Neurocircutiry of Addiction, George f. Koob et al. Neuropsychophamarcology  35 Jan. 2010

Waking Up From the Trance by Peter Metzner

Posted on by

We are bombarded daily with messages from advertisers, the media, shows, movies, the news,  our families, work, friends, school, churches and  politicians to name a few.  Neuroscience has found that our brain is more active when we are asleep then when we are watching TV.  (Unless we are very selective about what we watch.)   Without being aware, we internalize these messages  thrust-ed upon us every day.   Advertisers use sophisticated classical conditioning techniques to make us mindlessly want things we  don’t need.  As a society, we have been conditioned to be materialistic and view success as having lots of money and “things”.     We see images of what the ideal woman should be, what success looks like, what we should drive and how we should think.    Based on our selection of news programs, our political affiliation or religious orientation as well as our self image,   we automatically seek out information that confirms and conforms to our beliefs.

In his ground breaking book ” What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why you Should do The Opposite, David Desolvo writes:  ” The brain doesn’t merely prefer certainty over ambiguity – it craves it!”  Our need to be right is actually a need to feel right!’   Neurologist Robert Burton calls this a certainty bias which skews our thinking.    Since our brains crave certainty,  we become anxious or threatened  if our world view, religious or political beliefs are challenged.  Even despite compelling evidence to the contrary.  (Disalvo)  Thus differing view points, cultures, religions and ways of living are threatening to many.   Think about it;  if my way of thinking or believing  is right, good and the only way – your way must be wrong.  So if I am good then you must be bad or evil and I should fight evil.. Right?  Or?…

It is easy to see how  religion can be a source of conflict rather than a force  towards healing .  It not that any particular religion is the problem.  It is simply our brains!      Kenneth Wilber, one of the great current thinkers of our time states moral development falls into three distinct stages.  It is all about me (egocentric)  to it is all about us (ethnocentric)  to it is about all of us. (world centric)  This parallels  Kohlberg’s three levels of moral development.  pre conventional to conventional to post conventional.    According to Wilber, 70% of the world population is ethnocentric.  Which means I see and accept the world through the lenses of my tribe, culture, religion,  country, political belief etc.

With  ethno centric populations being  70%  and numerous countries  owning weapons of mass destruction, controlling vast amounts of the worlds resources,  consuming  significant amounts of these limited resources, and polluting significant amounts –  it doesn’t take an Einstein to see the trouble we are headed towards!

In order for there to be peace, sustainability and a shared common humanity;  a critical mass of  people need to reach the third stage of moral development.  (Its about all of us ) Carl Jung was asked if there was hope for the world  and his answer:   “There is – if enough people do their inner work”.    It is up to each of us individually to wake up from the collective trance and realize that there is only one human race and we are all a part of it.  As Desmund Tutu says-  ‘We are all family”.    Jung and depth psychologists realized that on a soul level we are all connected.   This supports Jesus’ teaching that what you do to the least of us you do to the rest of us.   Einstein reasoned that that this feeling separate from each other is an illusion.   From an energy standpoint as well  – we are all connected.

Jung believed that Neurosis is being or having to be someone you are not.  This is the imprisonment of  having to conform to external definitions of who or what you should be.   Shakespeare wrote the “most confining prisons are the ones that we don’t know that we are in”.  Psychological health and emotional well being is to  live authentically. This is “to see with your own own eyes and to feel with your own heart”  (Einstein)

To “wake up” and develop awareness and mastery, is to  step outside of your emotional field”.  (Daniel Starr)   To do this;  is to over-ride our conditioning.    Awareness is the foundation for growth, healing and taking responsibility for our lives.  With awareness we have choices.  The cost of staying unaware is to  be on automatic pilot and living a life that is not authentically and genuinely ours.   When we stay stuck with self limiting beliefs like we are not good enough, deserving,  we can’t make a difference etc..,  the names, the places, the people may change in our lives, but we repeat patterns with similar outcomes.  As we become more aware, we have more choices  and can live more intentionally and creatively.

So how does one  wake up from a conditioned, neurotic life?

According to Starr and the wisdom traditions,  the first step is to become an observer, or witness, to daily moment-to-moment experiences.  Once we can observe an emotion or a belief and not identify with it we are less likely to be managed or driven by it.   This is an important step towards self mastery.  Awareness helps us  learn to manage or regulate emotions rather than be driven by them.

It is important to observe without making judgment.  Self judgement and being self critical entrap you in your emotional soup. Self-awareness enhances self mastery by letting us see or witness our repetitive patterns.  This allows us to intentionally choose  our direction and experience .    Self-mastery helps us be more  effective in our work or vocation as well as other areas of our lives.

Emotions are states of mind, and we are always experiencing some state of mind, so we are always feeling an  emotion – whether we are conscious of it or not.   There is a relationship between thoughts and emotions.   With each thought, there is an emotional trigger or an emotional association. We think about something,  then comes an emotional association, and this, sparks another thought with its emotional “baggage”.   The process continues as the emotions resonate or fuel each other and increase in intensity.  We have all experienced being upset or angry about something (or someone) and by continually thinking of the situation, we become increasingly agitated.  This  called “awfulizing”.  We can awfulize or “catastrophize” about anything:  fellow workers, managers, clients, policy, finances, relationships, family, self-esteem, and so on.   The patterns are very similar.  Being aware of this,  makes it is fairly simple to master.

The most important part of self-mastery is awareness, (Starr)  so when you start to notice the awfulizing, reward yourself for experiencing this.  You are then associating a positive emotion with the act of becoming aware.  This is a lot more beneficial then getting upset about awfulizing again.

When  we experience negative emotions,  it is usually because we are experiencing something in our environment or our mind that is not in harmony with what we want.   Think about this being an opportunity to discover what we do want.   The starting point is first  knowing what we do not want.  The steps are simple:

1)      Reward yourself for becoming aware of your awfulizing, or negative emotional state.

2)      Notice what it is that you do not want, and ask yourself “If that is what I don’t want, then what is it that I do want?”

3)      Consider what you want and imagine, feel, experience what it would be like to have what you do want.

This third step is very important, for you are now choosing an emotional state, and developing self-mastery.  (Again, which is better, being in a negative state, or choosing a positive one?)  With this exercise we “shift”, from conditioned patterns to more  effective and productive emotional states which allows us to better handle stressors and frustrations.

Making this shift, requires waking up to what is happening to you in the present, and by choice or intention, consciously turning your attention from what you do not want to what you do want.   Wherever you put your awareness, that will expand.  According to William James considered by many the father of psychology – we become what we think about.  Neuroscience has shown that by thinking regularly of the virtues and strengths we want to adopt – that our brains actually start to rewire synapses which helps us embody these qualities.

Happiness is a by – product of  having purpose, meaning, healthy supportive relationships and feeling like we are making a difference.   Psychological maturity comes from knowing who we are, being responsible for our behaviors knowing our strengths and weaknesses accepting and loving ourselves thus being able to accept and love others. (Marian Williamson)   Affluence in the fullest sense is knowing what matters, going for what is truly important and meaningful and feeling or having a sense of being connected to something larger than ourselves.  We each have a summons to living our own lives and to wake up from the trance.

The world needs you.

Suggested readings:

What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do The Opposite,  David Disalvo 

The Essential  Ken Wilber; An Introductory Reader 

The Middle Passage From Misery to Meaning in Midlife;  James Hollis